writing songs

I have a friend named John Chafe that I write songs for. That is to say, I write the lyrics and he writes the melody and performs them on his guitar. That was never my plan. I always wanted to write my own lyrics and music and play them in public on my guitar, but I was never good enough. I can't seem to get the guitar part to go with the word part. Frustrating. Anyway, last night I was out on the patio practicing and started writing a song about my friend Tom Mills. I thought it would be a cool song but it just sounds corny. I vidoetaped it on my cam and my face scared me. It looked so fat I barely recognized myself. All I could think was how am I going to perform on stage if I'm not attractive. I know that's silly because a lot of musicians play on stage and they are not exactly super models. But the thing is, it doesn't help your music career any if you are unattractive. So that means I am still hanging on to the illusion of having a music career. Strange that that is ingrained in me & I just won't let go of it. Or can't let it go. So I'm just going to keep plugging away at it. Maybe I am grasping at straws but they are my straws to grasp at.